I had never been wholeheartedly happy in my life since childhood because I always felt like that something was missing. There was an emptiness in my heart which was growing with each passing day. My heart had been longing for something since the beginning. I didn’t even know what it was, and when I would get that missing thing and when my restless soul would be relived. I wasn’t aware of anything.
So let’s start with the beginning when for the first time, I saw the love of my life, it was the turning point of life when I finally came to know the reason why I was breathing and what was the purpose of my empty life. That day I wasn’t aware that my life was going to change completely and drastically. I was finally going to find myself and the reason why I was born with the emptiness in my heart.
It was the first day of college after summer vacation. I was doing engineering from DIT University, Dehradun. Hanging bag on my shoulder, I stepped into the classroom. The atmosphere was pleasant and cloudy, everyone was gossiping and were telling each other what they had done in summer vacations.
The hot topic after summer vacation.
Passing a small smile to everyone, I wandered to the desk where my two best friends were sitting. I sat with them. They hugged me tightly and told me how much they had missed me.
“Shehnaaz, tell us what were you doing in summer vacations? You didn’t even reply to our messages, where were you? You know how much we missed you.” My first best friend, Mukti asked in anger after breaking the hug. I knew this was coming up. I was already ready to face this.
“Sana, this time Mukti’s anger is justified. We were seriously worried about you. You didn’t inform anybody before leaving for so many days. We know you love to spend alone time, but at least you should have informed us before leaving.” Now my second best buddy, Abhimanyu chided me like my father. His voice was clearly showing that he was worried for me. I could vividly see concerns in his greyish eyes.
“Guys, I’m so sorry that I didn’t inform you about my decision of leaving my house, but I was so depressed that day after seeing my mom and dad fighting like enemies. I wanted some peace and alone time, whole summer vacation I spent in my old house at the beach.” As I told them everything and they gave me helpless look.
They were aware of my mom and dad fights. I had been grown up seeing my mom and dad fights. I became habitual of it, but that day I didn’t know what had happened to me that I decided to leave my house. I just left and spent my whole vacation, sitting at the sand, gazing at the water and stars.
“Sana, just remember one thing that we are always there for you, you can share anything with us and from next time never try to leave without informing us,” Mukti warned me strictly, I just smiled at her broadly and hugged her tightly, seeing her concern. I had only these two people in my life, who genuinely cared for me and I was blessed to find them.
“Did you guys know that a new student is going to join college from today? I heard that he is super hot, Sana, what I am trying to say that why not you make him your boyfriend?” Mukti uttered to tease me after breaking the hug. I frowned and glared at her because she knew that I wasn’t interested in boys, for now, I wanted to focus on my studies and career, but then also every time, she nudged me to make boyfriend like her.
Mukti and Abhi, they had been in a relationship from a year and I admired them as a couple, but seeing them also I never thought to come in a relationship.
“Mukti, please, I don’t care about the boy who is joining college he is hot or not because I am not interested in him. I mean, I am not interested to be in a relationship.” I stated clearly.
But I was unaware that my words were going to be proved wrong very soon.
Next moment only, suddenly my heartbeat accelerated and a cold breeze caressed my face, my hair fluttering.
“Look, there he is.” I heard Mukti’s voice and moved my eyes to the direction where she pointed her hand. My heart skipped beating for a moment as I saw the person standing on the door. I didn’t know what was happening to me, I felt some kind of strong connection with him. I gazed into his eyes, his eyes were black and I felt like it wasn’t the first time I was seeing those bewitching and searingly intense eyes. All this foreign and strong feeling baffled me, I was losing my mind. I wasn’t understanding what was happening to me and why it was happening. I had never felt like this before, He was a stranger, but I was feeling like I knew him from ages.
I wasn’t aware why I was feeling like this and why my heart was pounding.
He sat on the first desk, left to the row where I was sitting. I was still gazing at him like a fool, forgetting about everything. He was wearing a black shirt with white grey jeans. He had a perfectly shaped face, the beard was suiting him. He had jet black hair, and I felt a sudden urge to caress his silky black hair.
“What is wrong with me?” I mentally scolded myself. For the first time in my life, I was admiring somebody so keenly.
“What he is doing to me?” My mind was asking this question from me again and again.
“Sana, where are you lost? Take out the book.” As Mukti shook me, finally I came out of my thoughts. I glanced at her and nodded before hurriedly taking out the book and placing it on the table. I tried my best to convince my mind to don’t look at him, but then also I was glancing at him after every few seconds during the class. He was engrossed in reading the book which was kept in front of him on the table. Like an idiot, I again got lost gazing at him. I didn’t know why I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him.
Not only that day, in fact, the next whole week, I spent gazing at Sidharth like an idiot. Yes, his name is Sidharth Shukla. I was feeling some kind of strong connection between us, but I didn’t think that he also felt the same for me because he didn’t even look at me this whole week.
He was a complete mysterious soul. I never saw him talking to anyone in the class. He regularly came to the college and went home after completing all the lectures. Why he was like this, why he was bothering me so much? I wanted to go and talk to him but didn’t have the courage to talk to him.
Like usual days, hanging the bag on my shoulder, wondering about him, I was ambling to my classroom and I suddenly bumped to him.
For the first time, my body came in contact with his body, I felt electricity rush down my whole body. I just froze and stared at him unblinkingly.
“Don’t you have eyes or you don’t know how to walk properly in corridors?” Before I could say sorry, he shouted on me in front of everyone. It was just a mistake, I didn’t commit any crime.
I felt anger in his voice, but when I looked into his deep eyes, I saw extreme pain in his eyes. For the first time, I saw the pain in his eyes, what kind of pain he was hiding inside him. He shouted on me and I was bothering about his pain.
What was happening to me?
“Bloody blind people.” He muttered under his breath and marched to the classroom with a sullen look. I was standing there like a statue. I didn’t know why his words didn’t affect me, rather the immense pain in the eyes affected me. Maybe I was falling for him.
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