(Part: 12 He lives in her soul ) Love Or Sin {Sidnaaz}

Shehnaaz and Shivansh were sitting outside of the ICU. They were relieved after knowing that Sidharth was out of danger. They both were feeling like they got their life back after death. When Sidharth had been fighting for his life, that few hours were like so many years for them. It was getting difficult for them to spend every single second. Now they were waiting for him to get his conscious back.

“I just come.” Shehnaaz got up and spoke looking at Shivansh. He looked at her and just nodded his head.

After a few minutes, Shehnaaz came back holding the glass of water in her hand. Shivansh was sitting resting his head against the wall and his eyes were staring straight blankly.

“Shivansh have some water.” She stood in front of him and held out the glass of water in front of his face.

“I don’t want anything until Sidharth regain his conscious.” Shivansh looked at the glass of water and then spoke after looking at her. He also sided away the glass with his hand. Shehnaaz didn’t force him because she could understand his condition very well. Because she was going through the same condition. At that time they only wanted to see Sidharth fine.

“Shivansh, how is Sidharth ?” Then they both heard Cabir’s voice. He was strolling toward them and his eyes were brimmed with tears. Mukti was also coming with him. Her eyes were red and tears were constantly cascading down her cheeks. They rushed to the hospital as soon as they received the message from Shivansh.

“Shivansh, Sid-Sidharth, Is he-Is he alright?” Mukti asked in crying tone and she was stammering. Cabir was also looking at Shivansh for the answer.

“Guy, relax. The doctor said that now he is out of danger.” Shivansh informed them, getting up from the bench. Cabir and Mukti took a breath of relief after listening to his words.

Mukti was still crying. She sobbed and spoke, “I got so much scared for him.” Shivansh took Mukti in his arms and hugged her to make her feel better. Mukti wrapped her arms around him. She shut her eyes and few fresh tears rolled down from her eyes.

“He will be fine, Mukti, Stop crying.” They broke the hug and Shivansh spoke, wiping her tears with his hands. She nodded her head, wiping off her tears herself with the back of her palm.

Few hours passed away. It was night time. Nobody had eaten anything yet. They were just waiting for Sidharth to wake up. Shehnaaz, Cabir and Mukti were sitting while Shivansh was roaming in the corridors. He was getting restless. Nobody was allowed to meet him in ICU.

Inside the ICU. Sidharth slowly opened his eyes. He blinked his eyes for few times to adjust them in light. He hissed when he felt a sharp pain in his head. He looked around and immediately understood that he was in the hospital room. He tried to remember how he reached here. He tried to get up but his body was not allowing him because of the weakness.

The nurse saw him and immediately walked toward him.

“What happened to me ?” Sidharth asked from the nurse.

“Sir, relax. Don’t move. Your wounds are fresh. If you move, it will hurt you.” The nurse said, holding him from his shoulders when he was trying to get up.

“I just come after calling the doctor.” The nurse walked out from the room saying this. In a few minutes, Sidharth remembered everything clearly that how he met with an accident. He was so lost in thinking about the complications of his life and he didn’t notice a truck was approaching toward his car in full speed. When he finally noticed the truck, he immediately rotated the steering of the car and his car crashed with the tree.

The nurse walked outside. Shivansh saw him and immediately ran to ask from her about Sidharth. Shehnaaz, Cabir and Mukti also rushed toward them after getting up.

“He just regained his conscious. I am going to call the Doctor.” The nurse informed them and Shivansh sighed. Shehnaaz took a deep breath of relief, closing her eyes. She just felt like to run inside to meet him.

“Can we-Can we meet him ?” Mukti asked, getting restless to meet Sidharth. Everybody was getting restless to meet him. The nurse left after nodding her head. Then they all just immediately rushed toward the ICU to meet Sidharth. Shivansh opened the door and stepped inside first. After that Mukti and Cabir.

Shehnaaz was also just about to step inside the ICU but stopped herself on the door only, because she knew she would not able to control her emotions in front of him. She wanted to meet him badly but couldn’t meet him. She cried holding the handle of the door and looked inside through the glass, having tears in her eyes. She could only watch him from far away. She could only love him from away. She could love him, but she could never express.

“Sidharth, you scared us a lot. You don’t have any idea what was my condition when I came to know that you met with an accident.” Shivansh spoke hugging Sidharth tightly. Sidharth just put his one hand on his back, his other hand was fractured.

They broke the hug. Sidharth was getting restless. He wasn’t feeling good. His eyes were finding her. His soul was getting desperate to see her. He could feel her presence. He could feel that she was near him. But where she was?

“Sidharth, now you just get well soon. We all are going to take your class after that.” Cabir spoke in fun tone to change the atmosphere.

“Yes, Cabir is saying right, Sidharth, and you have to share your all the problems with us.” Mukti said sternly and Sidharth closed his eyes dejectedly because if he wanted also then too he couldn’t share his problem with them. He knew they were his true friend. But if anybody comes to know that what he felt for Shehnaaz then nothing would remain the same like before. He would lose his best friend who was his life. He would hurt him and he never wanted to become the reason of his pain. The person who had always become the reason of his happiness, he would never want to become the reason of that person’s pain.

Shivansh’s red eyes were clearly telling Sidharth that he had cried a lot for him. “What if he comes to know about my feelings for Shehnaaz, would he cry for me like this? Sidharth thought and shook his head.

“He will never come to know.” He said to himself inside his mind. But the truth cannot remain hidden till long, today or tomorrow, one day the truth will come out.

“You all have to go outside. I have to check him. You can meet him later on when he get shifted to his private wardroom.” The doctor informed them, stepping into the ICU and two nurses also walked inside following him.

“Take care, Sidharth. We are outside only.” Shivansh spoke before walking out. Sidharth just nodded his head slightly. Sidharth passed a small smile to them and then they all strolled out of the room after last time glancing at him.

Shehnaaz was looking at them through the small glass. As she saw them coming out, she immediately went to stand beside the bench.

Shehnaaz strode toward them and asked, “How is he?”

“I can’t see him in this condition. He is not fine. Something is bothering him a lot.” Shivansh spoke dishearteningly, his eyes brimmed with tears. He went from there saying this. Mukti and Cabir called him but he didn’t listen to them. Then they both ran behind him.

Shivansh’s words made Shehnaaz also anxious. She also wanted to know what was bothering him. She wanted to know the reason of his pain and wanted to find a solution. Because she wanted to see him happy. She couldn’t see him in pain. It was hurting her a lot to see him in pain. The person whom you love so much, it hurts like hell to see that person in pain. You feel like somebody is crushing your heart inside you. The pain is unbearable.

“How is he, doctor?” Shehnaaz asked as the doctor stepped out.

“He is fine. But the wounds will take time to get healed. Two months complete bed rest and after that he will need few months to get recover completely and get back to his normal life.” The doctor spoke and Shehnaaz just nodded her head in response.

“Can I meet him, Doctor ?” She asked instantly because nobody was there and this was the right time for her to meet him alone.

“No, you can’t meet him now. You can only meet him when he shifted to the private wardroom.” Shehnaaz became disheartened because she badly wanted to meet him.

“Please, doctor. Just for a few minutes.” She requested him because she didn’t want to miss this chance of meeting him alone.

“Okay, just for few minutes.” She sighed as the doctor permitted her to meet him. The doctor left and She immediately rushed into the ICU without wasting even a single second.

On the other side, Shivansh was standing in the garden of the hospital. Tears were falling from his eyes, wondering about the old days when everything was alright. Sidharth was carefree and happy. He wanted those old days back when Sidharth was happy. He couldn’t see him in pain. It was hurting him a lot by seeing his pain. The thing was worrying him more that he was hiding his problem from him which he never used to do before.

“Shivansh,” As he heard Cabir’s voice and felt his hand on his shoulder, he wiped off his tears with the back of his palms and taking a deep breath, he turned around. He found Mukti and Cabir staring at him.

“Do you think we don’t know why you come here? You can’t hide your tears from us.” As Cabir, Shivansh closed his eyes dejectedly and few drops of fresh tears trickled down his cheeks.

“Shivansh, crying is not the solution. I know you are worried for Sidharth. We are too worried for him. He will be fine. We will make him fine. You are with him, he will fine.” Cabir tried his best to make him feel better through his words. Mukti nodded her head in yes agreeing to Cabir’s words.

“How Cabir? How ?” Shivansh asked turning on the other side.

“Sidharth is not ready to share his problem with me. I think I have lost him. He is never going to come back. I lost my best friend.” Shivansh spoke dejectedly, staring straight aimlessly. Cabir and Mukti gave each other a helpless look.

“Are you crazy, Shivansh? Stop talking like a depressed psycho. We will talk to him. If he doesn’t understand then we will beat him and make him understand. You don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” Cabir shouted on him first listening to his depressing talks, coming in front of him. Then he tried to console him like a true friend. Shivansh smiled faintly, nodding his head.

On the other hand when Shehnaaz entered into the ICU. Sidharth immediately closed his eyes and pretended like he was sleeping. He could feel her walking close to him. With her every step, his heartbeat was accelerating. Like always he lost all his control on his mind and heart in the presence of her.

The nurse who was on duty went to washroom saying Shehnaaz to be with him until she doesn’t come back. Shehnaaz was looking at Sidharth, having tears in her eyes. She sat down beside him on the stool which was kept beside his bed. She held his hand with her both hands. She gently kissed his hand after taking his hand near to her lips.

Sidharth felt so good after feeling the touch of her lips on his skin for the first time. The feeling was heaven. She raised goosebumps all over his body with this kiss. He wanted to feel the touch of her lips all over his body.

She placed his hand on her cheek and closed her eyes, she got lost in his touch. She wanted him to stroke her cheeks like this always. His touch made her feel alive. She loved him a lot. She knew that her love was wrong but then too she couldn’t stop her heart from loving him. He resided in her heart and lived in her soul.

Shehnaaz kept his hand back on the bed carefully after a few minutes. Then she started saying whatever was going in her mind, moving her hands through his hair.

“You don’t know, Sidharth that I can’t see you in this condition. My heart is breaking inside after watching you in pain. I had never felt like this for anybody before. I had never felt so scared to lose anybody before. It was the first time, I felt so helpless when you had stopped responding and stopped fighting for your life. I want to know the reason why you don’t want to live. What is your pain which made you so weak that you don’t even want to live ?”

All this while It was getting hard for Sidharth to control his tears. He could see that through her words that how much she loved him. But his heart was breaking because he couldn’t reciprocate that same love. He couldn’t love her. He was feeling so helpless at that time. At that time he just felt like to hug her tightly and store into his arms forever.

She was asking about the reason of his pain. How he could tell her that the reason of his pain was their love. It was a beautiful feeling which he never wanted to forget. But for Shivansh he wanted to erase her from his memories forever. He wanted to forget her as he had never met her.

“I know you see me as only your friend’s wife. You will never love me. Your love is not in my destiny and it’s hurt a lot.” She cried after leaning over face and held his face with her both hands. Their proximity made his breath heavy and her words made his heart heavy. It was getting so difficult for him to pretend that he was sleeping. It was getting so difficult for him to control his emotions at that time.

Her tears were burning his heart more. Her tears were directly falling on his cheeks. He couldn’t see her in pain because he loved her a lot. That time he just wanted to wipe all of her tears and wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He also wanted to tell her that she was thinking wrong that he would never love her. The truth was that he would always love her. His heart would never stop loving her.

“I just only want to see you happy, Sidharth, because I love you and my heart will always love you. Even if I want too then too I can’t stop myself from loving you. I tried a lot to not love you and I am tired now. I understood that the more I run away from my feelings, the more they will chase me. Now I will try to live with my feelings and will love you from far away. Whether you love me or not but you will always live in my heart.” She spoke whatever going in her heart thinking that Sidharth was sleeping. She had no idea that Sidharth was listening to her. Whatever she said, same he wanted to say to her.

At last, she moved close to his face. Sidharth breath was becoming heavy with her closeness. Her warm breath was caressing his face and driving him crazy. Then he felt her lips on his forehead. As she kissed his forehead, he felt contented. Her forehead kiss was so soothing for him. He felt alive at that moment when her lips touched his forehead. He felt like she touched his soul with that kiss. The feeling was world’s best and beautiful feeling for him.

Shehnaaz with this kiss promised him that she would take away all his pain and fill his life with happiness.

Sidharth opened his eyes forgetting about everything because her forehead kiss was so magical that it made him forgot everything. He forgot that he was pretending to sleep. For a few seconds, they gazed into each other eyes deeply, and then Shehnaaz immediately sat straight on the stool and started looking everywhere except him. He was gazing at her like he was looking at her beautiful face after ages.

He had decided that he would never meet her again. He would forget her but destiny had some other plans. Destiny made them meet again. Nobody can understand the game which destiny plays with people’s life. Sidharth was also not understanding what was happening. He was not understanding that why again and again destiny was bringing him in front of her. Sidharth had no idea that his destiny was entwined with her. Now if wanted also then too he couldn’t separate himself from her.

Do leave your precious comments.

Love Mehak

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