(Part : 3A Jealous, Angry and Guilty) Love Or Sin {Sidnaaz}

”I am your favourite writer Pretty Angel.” As she told him, he stood up, staring at her with wide-open eyes and mouth. He wasn’t expecting her to be his favourite writer. She chuckled, seeing his reaction.

“What’s going on ?” Shivansh’s words caught both of their attention. They looked at him. He was coming to them, having a small smile on his face.

“Sid, your face is telling to me like you got a shock.” Shivansh stood beside Sidharth. He laughed, putting his hand on Sidharth’s shoulder.

“Shivansh, Sidharth is shocked to know that I am his favourite writer.” She stood up and told him, walking toward Shivansh. Sidharth widened his eyes in shock as Shehnaaz revealed his secret in front of his best friend.

“What? Sid, when did you start reading novels? You never told me about this.” Shivansh narrowed his brows and asked. Sidharth was finding words to make him understand. She bit her lower lip, realising that she told Sidharth’s secret to Shivansh.

“Shivansh, you met Sidharth after two years. Things and choices change with time. Maybe Sidharth started reading novels within these two months.” Shehnaaz explained Shivansh on the behalf of Sidharth because she was guilty of revealing his secret.

“Right, Sidharth?” She asked, looking at him. As he looked at her, she raised her eyebrows. He nodded his head and she smiled.

“Yeh, Shivansh. It’s true that I got fond of reading novels in these two years and I never got any chance to tell you about this.” Sidharth explained to him and he got convinced also.

“Okay, but I hope from now you won’t keep any secret between us,” Shivansh said, putting his hand on his shoulder. Sidharth nodded his head slightly and wondered about the feelings which were developing inside him for Shehnaaz and he could never share this with him.

“Sana, I am going to get fresh. Bring my dinner in my room only.” As he said to Shehnaaz, she nodded at him response.

“Sid, I wanted to talk to you but I am so exhausted today. We will catch up with the things tomorrow.” Saying this, he climbed upstairs.

“I am really sorry, Sidharth.” When Sidharth was staring at Shivansh who was going upstairs, Shehnaaz words caught his attention and moved his eyes at her angelic face.

“I couldn’t keep your secret safe with me. I am such a big idiot.” When Shehnaaz was apologising from him, he was busy admiring her beautiful and innocent face, forgetting about the whole world.

“Please forgive me.” As she again apologised, he came onto the earth back.

He shook his head, trying to come out of the magic spell done by Shehnaaz on him and then he said, “It’s Okay, Shehnaaz. Don’t feel sorry.”

It wasn’t easy for him to take her out from his head because he was attracting towards her like two magnets attract towards each other.

“Really you are not angry with me ?” She asked to confirm and he nodded his head in no in response. She smiled broadly, knowing this.

As she smiled, Sidharth’s heart skipped beating for a moment. Never in his life, he found anybody’s smile so beautiful and engaging. In her smile, he found something more beautiful than his favourite stars. Her smile was making him fall in love with her. Her smile was giving peace to his heart and soul. He was captivated by her bewitching smile.

“Thank god. I thought you would get angry with me for not keeping your secret safe with me because I promised you. You know I lied to you. The truth is that I am very bad at keeping secrets. In fact, I am worst at keeping secret.” She laughed on herself, saying this. Until now Sidharth came to know that she was a complete chatterbox. He wanted to go because it was getting so difficult for him to control himself from not getting lost in her but her talks weren’t getting over.

“I think, I should leave now. I am too tired.” Shehnaaz opened her mouth to speak something but as Sidharth said, cutting her words, she instantly closed her mouth and nodded her head meekly. Her cuteness brought a warm smile on his face. He walked from there after last time glancing at her.

“Oh god, What is happening to me? This is so wrong.” Sidharth murmured to himself after closing the door of his room.

“And I just can’t believe that Shehnaaz is the only girl whom I was trying to find from the day I had read her novels.” He held his head with his hands. He was going crazy.

“She is my favourite writer, Pretty angel. I never thought that I would meet her like this. I can’t even express in front of her that what I feel about her writing that I completely fell in love with her novel. Her writing is mesmerising.” He uttered disappointedly, sitting down on the bed because he couldn’t do anything because of his unknown feeling.

“With her writing, she is also mesmerising me.” His heart said to him and he got up in a shock.

“What you are thinking, Sid? This is so wrong.” He scolded himself.

“From now, I will completely avoid her. Yes, this is best idea to avoid her.” He went to the washroom after saying this to himself. He had no idea that it was just the beginning of his attraction. The more he runs away from her, the more he will come close to her.

Next Morning

Last night Sidharth had slept after taking sleeping pills because he had no other option. He was getting ready for the office now. He was in a black coat suit with a white shirt. He was setting his tie, standing in front of the mirror, having a serious look on his face. He was angry with himself. He was getting irritated and frustrated with his feelings because those feelings were wrong. He walked out from the room after last time glancing at himself in the mirror.

He stopped in front of Shehnaaz and Shivansh’s room which was adjacent to his room. The door of their room was slightly opened. He took a step to walk away but couldn’t stop himself from peeking inside. And he did a big mistake by doing this.

His breath got stuck in his throat and his heart stopped beating for a moment as his eyes feel over the girl who was making him crazy from the time he had seen her. She was coming out of the bathroom, drying her wet hair with the towel. She was looking stunning in light pink saree which she was wearing. He was gazing at her like he used to stare at stars in nights. Each and everything about her was attracting him. Her morning look made him crazier. Her wet hair and the water droplets dropping down her neck, everything was taking his breath away from him. She stood in front of the mirror, facing her back to him. She was wearing the backless blouse and he couldn’t stop himself from staring her milky white back. She was still drying her hair with the towel, standing in front of the mirror and humming a song. He loved the way she let her long, black and wet hair fall down over her back. She had no idea somebody was gazing at her and going crazy, seeing her each and every move. For the first time, he felt like to touch her and feel her.

The reality hit his mind when Shivansh came and stood behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her wet hair. Sidharth felt some kind of a pain in his heart, seeing Shehnaaz with someone else. Shivansh had complete right on Shehnaaz because she was his wife but still he felt hurt. He was feeling guilty too for staring at his best friend’s wife like this. He immediately dashed from there and slammed the door after stepping into his room.

He was breathing heavily because he was going crazy. It was getting more difficult for him to resist her with each passing minute. He was not understanding what the hell was happening to him. He didn’t want to feel like this for Shehnaaz but he didn’t know why he couldn’t control. He never felt like this for any other girl before. She was the first girl who was attracting him toward herself like this. He had never felt so weak and helpless before. He had never found so much peace in anybody’s smile before, the peace which her smile had given to him last night.

“Why? Why only her?” He shouted in frustration, asking this question from the god that why only she attracted him, why not any other girl. He punched over the wall while shrieking again the same words. His knuckles started bleeding because of the punch. He squeezed his eyes shut because of the pain and few tears trickled down his cheeks. He was feeling helpless about this unknown feeling. He wanted this to get stopped. He wished that he would have a remote for his feeling. So that he could stop his feeling by pressing the stop button.

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