It’s hurt a lot when someone you love unconditionally but in return every time that someone gives you only pain, and it hurts more when you can’t even blame him completely for your pain. This was happening with me, my heart was breaking a bit by bit every day because I fell in love with the person who was not in a condition to see my love and pain. He was in a pain where he was just thinking about his first love.
“Last night whatever happened, it was not his fault, it was my fault. He was not in his senses but I was in my senses, I could have stopped him but I didn’t, it was my fault.” I was crying in agony, standing under the shower. I was blaming myself for everything and it was hurting a lot.
The water was removing his touch from my body but it could never remove his touch from my soul.
I couldn’t even describe in words that I felt incredible last night. I wanted to stop the time when he was making my each and every cell of the body alive and beautiful with his touch. I closed my eyes and got lost in thinking about last night. The way he was kissing and loving my body, it was pure bliss. Everything was so beautiful, so pure and full of love, I felt like he also loves me in the same way I love him. I didn’t feel for a single second that he didn’t have a feeling for me. I didn’t know why I felt like this.
One side Sana was heartbroken and blaming herself and on the other side, Sidharth was losing his mind because he thought that one night would make everything fine and make him forget Shehnaaz, but nothing happened the way he had expected, it happened opposite. When he reached back home, he started remembering about the beautiful night which he had spent with Shehnaaz and this also made him remind that how much he felt good and what her touch was doing to him. She made his dead soul alive with her touch. After sixteen years, he felt alive. He was going crazy wondering why he was still thinking about her, and why he was forgetting Nandita. He was not ready to accept that he had fallen in love with Shehnaaz.
“How could you forget me, Sidu.” He was lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling silently when he heard Nandita’s voice. He immediately stood up and looked at the door from where her voice had come.
“You had promised me that you would come and save me,” Nandita spoke in a serious tone, gazing at him.
“I am in pain, Sidu, you can’t do this to me. You can’t forget me like this.” Listening to her words, tears started trickling down his eyes.
“No,” He shook his head.
“You can’t leave me in pain, Sidu.” Nandita disappeared suddenly and he slumped down on the floor with a thud. He became hysterical and started crying mechanically covering his face with palm. He was feeling guilty for cheating Nandita by spending the night with Shehnaaz. He was thinking that he made Nandita upset by doing this. Shehnaaz was right that she would always remain his mistake.
“Why Shehnaaz came in my life? She has made everything more difficult for me.” He shrieked in anger after removing his hands from his face. He got up and started breaking the things in his room.
“Ahaha…” He shouted loudly, picking up his guitar and hit it on the mirror. Mirror broke down into millions of pieces like his heart. He bent down and took a broken piece in his hands. He closed his eyes while clenching his fist. The broken piece of the mirror was hurting him and blood was oozing out of his palm, but his expression remained the same, it was like he was not feeling any pain.
“How can I cheat my Nandita?” He roared in anger and started hitting his other hand over the floor. Like he was punishing himself for cheating his Nandu.
That time only, Cabir walked in and ran toward him. He felt bad when he saw him hurting himself.
“Sidharth, please stop hurting yourself.” He held his shoulders from behind and tried to stop him, but he tried to push him. Cabir held him tightly and he stopped hurting himself.
“Cabir, why I don’t feel any pain? I want to punish myself for cheating my Nandu,” he asked dejectedly, looking at his bleeding palm. Cabir felt like crying, seeing his pain but he didn’t understand why he said that he cheated Nandita.
“Last night has destroyed everything, Cabir. Last night I slept with Shehnaaz.” His tone became serious and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. It was hurting him a lot, he was feeling like he did any crime by cheating the person whom he loved truly from sixteen years. He was feeling like one night destroyed his true love. While Cabir was shocked after hearing his words. He never thought that Sid would ever sleep with any other girl except Nandita because he had seen his unconditional love and true love for Nandita.
“But why ?” Cabir asked in disbelief and shock after coming in front of Manik. Sid was crying, staring straight, sitting on the floor. After listening to Cabir’s words, he moved his sorrowful eyes toward him.
“Because I was so stupid, I thought one night would make me forget Shehnaaz, but it didn’t happen and in all this, I cheated my love,” Sidharth confessed everything and hit his hand on the floor. Cabir was shocked, his words were making him confused.
“I’m feeling like to kill myself, Cabir.” He was angry from himself for Cheating Nandita. Cabir wanted to ask so many questions from him but when his eyes fell on his bleeding hand, first he started putting ointment on his hand after bringing first aid box. Cabir was his true friend who always supported him and was there for him every time. No one could understand Sidharth better than Cabir. He was lucky to get a friend like him.
“I don’t know, Nandita will ever forgive me or not?” he paused for few second then continued
“Shehnaaz could have stopped me last night but she also didn’t stop me. The day she entered my life, I am feeling like I am going away from Nandita gradually. I am not understanding why every time I think about Shehnaaz and forgot about Nandita, completely. She attracts me so much, she is making my love weak for Nandita. I just hate her for coming in my life, I just hate her for everything.” Sid was telling Cabir whatever was going in his mind. His words started giving Cabir a little hint about the real thing which Sid was not telling him.
“You can never hate Shehnaaz, Sidharth, because,” as Cabir uttered, Sid looked at him bemusedly.
“Because you have fallen in love with her.” Sid widened his eyes in utter shock when Cabir told him the reality.
“I know you won’t accept this because You still think that you love Nandita, but the thing is that you have been tired of loneliness, and your heart has found its peace in Shehnaaz. But you won’t accept the love and the peace because you just think about Nandita. But I hope, one day you realise that it is not wrong to fall in love again. Nandita always wanted to see you happy, she never asked you to suffer for her. Sidharth, your happiness and peace are Shehnaaz now. Please accept it and then find Nandita. You deserve a better life.” Cabir tried his best to make him understand. He was also listening to him but his words were making him angry.
“Cabir, Nandita also deserves happiness and a better life. I love Nandita only and I will get peace after getting her back in my life. Shehnaaz is nothing more than an attraction. My mind will forget her in a few days, but my heart and my mind will never forget Nandita because I love only love her truly.” He glared at Cabir. He was not angry from Cabir, he was angry from himself for bringing the other girl between him and Nandita. He was not ready to accept the fact that love can happen again also.
“I hope soon you realise that what opportunity God has given you by sending Shehnaaz into your life and I hope so you don’t get late in realising this.” Cabir left from there.
Sidharth silently lay down on floor putting arms over his forehead. He mused at the ceiling, wondering about Shehnaaz. He felt better as he thought about his first kiss with her and about their first night. Cabir words started echoing in his ears.
“Have I really fallen in love with Shehnaaz?” He finally gathered courage and asked this question from himself.
I was standing in front of the mirror and gazing at the hickey given by Sidharth on my neck. I closed my eyes while touching my hickey and got lost in the memories of the beautiful night when he had given me a hickey. I had never thought that a bite of someone would ever make me feel so good. I opened my eyes immediately when I realised that whatever happened between me and Sidharth, I have to forget it, then only I can able to make everything fine. “Yes, I have decided to forget his love to make his life fine.” I murmured to myself. I knew that it would be difficult for me but I was adamant to do this for my love.
As I heard the knock on the door of my room, I came out of my thoughts, I immediately wore a scarf around my neck and went to open the door of my room.
“Mam, Somebody has come to meet you.” The maid informed me.
“Who?” I immediately asked because I assumed he would be Sidharth.
“Sorry mam, I didn’t ask his name.” Maid left after saying this and I thought I should go or not because I was not in a condition to meet him as my feelings were not in my control, But I still decided to go because I knew that I’ve to face the reality.
Unexpectedly, I saw Cabir waiting for me in the hall. I thanked God because I was really not in a condition to face Sidharth after last night. Cabir gave me a small as he looked at me. I smiled faintly at him and strolled towards him.
I sat down beside him and looked at him confusingly as suddenly he apologised from me. “I’m sorry.”
He continued. “Sorry for whatever Sidharth has done with you, last night.” I looked at him in shock by widening my eyes.
“How do you know ?” I asked him in utter shock, holding my scarf tightly.
“Sidharth told me that he was with you last night and…” a tear automatically dropped from my eyes as I recalled the memories of last night which were heavenly beautiful for me and for him, it was a mistake.
“You must be angry with him for doing this with you?” He asked, having a concern in his eyes.
“No, I am not angry. Last night whatever happened, it happened because of me. It was not his fault because he was not in his senses. It was my fault because I could have stopped him but I didn’t because my love made me weak. My feelings were not in my control.” As she confessed her love sorrowfully, he looked at her in utter disbelief.
“How can you love the person like Sidharth so much? I mean you are blaming yourself for his mistake. Seriously he is so lucky that he got someone who loves him unconditionally.” I didn’t agree to him because he was unlucky to meet me as I was just making things more difficult for him.
“But I will always remain his mistake and now he hates me.” I closed my eyes, appalled and fresh tears tricked down my cheeks. Every time when I thought the person whom I loved, he hated me, it broke my heart more and more. But Cabir’s next words shocked me.
“You are wrong, he can never hate you because he loves you.” I instantly opened my eyes and stared at him in utter shock and disbelief.
I just can’t believe it that he loves me.
“Do You know why last night he had come to you ?” He asked me the question and I stared at him blankly because I was still in a shock.
“He thought that he would forget you after spending a night with you but it didn’t happen because he loves you. He wants to take you from his mind because he thought, you are taking him away from Nandita. Shehnaaz, the truth is that he is in love with you, but he is not ready to accept the truth because he had been loving Nandita from sixteen years. Therefore it is not easy for him to accept that he loves you.” Whatever Cabir was telling to me, It was the truth, but it was difficult for me to accept that he loved me.
“Today, I have come here to tell you the truth, I thought you must be hating Sidharth after the last night. But your love toward him shocked me. The rest is in your hand what you will do because it’s your life.” Cabir stood up and started leaving. I was sitting there like a statue, baffled. I was blank and not understanding what I should do. My heart was a bit happy after knowing that he also loved me. Therefore our last night was so beautiful and blissful for me. A contented smile flashed on my face automatically.
What do you think, Sidharth will accept that he loves Sana?