(Part: 13) Lost Love

“Wait wait but I can’t let him kiss me, he will regret about our kiss later and this will hurt me more.” When the reality hit my mind, I forced to do the thing which was very difficult for me. I stopped him from kissing me by controlling my desires which were at peak.

“Sidharth,” I called him and removed my hands from his face when our lips were just about to meet each other. As he heard me, he instantly left my face and took a few steps backwards. He looked at me for a moment, and then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, putting his hand on his forehead. I could see the disappointment on his face which broke my heart badly. I badly wanted him to kiss me. Only I knew, how I had stopped him from kissing me. He was just about to kiss me, our lips were just about to meet. I closed my eyes and few tears trickled down my cheeks.

“Why you again came here?” Again coming back to his monster Avatar, he shouted on me by grasping my arms tightly and pulled me toward himself. I opened my eyes immediately and found him looking at me in anger. I can clearly see disappointment in his eyes. I looked at him sadly, my heart was crying a lot.

Suddenly he left my arms and shook his head. I stared at him bemusedly. “Damn, what is happening to me? I am going crazy.” He put a hand on his forehead. I was not understanding what was happening to him.

He took a deep breath after closing his eyes, and then gave me a serious look. “Look, I have no control myself. I am not understanding what is happening to me.  I am not understanding why are you attracting me so much.” He was trying hard to speak calmly and his words were making me confused. “This attraction is making me crazy and angry because how You can attract me like this when I love Nandita.” His voice became louder. He was angry on himself. Now I was understanding him a bit.

“I think he is feeling like he is cheating Nandita by doing this.” I assumed.

“Why are you, again and again, coming in front my eyes and making my life more difficult?” He again shouted on me. My heart cried after knowing that my presence was creating a problem for him.

“Why are you not understanding,  I don’t want to hurt you but every time I am taking out my all anger on you and hurting you.” His eyes glinted with guilt as he spoke. I looked at him sadly and few tears dropped down from my eyes, seeing his condition. But one thing made me happy, he was keeping me away from himself because he didn’t want to hurt me. I was happy because he was thinking about me.

“I am sorry, I will never come in front of you” I glanced at him for the last time and turned around. I decided to never come in front of him because my presence was creating more problem for him. I wanted to reduce his pain and minimise his problem, not to become the big problem for him.

“I hope, he soon gets the love of his life Nandita” I wished for his happiness, stepping out of his room. I was wet but I wasn’t feeling anything, just I was feeling pain in my heart because the person whom I loved, I was a trouble for him.

A few days later

Few days had been passed. I was keeping myself busy in work all the time, even at night too. But it was getting so difficult for me to not think about him and his pain. I was calling myself mad and selfish because I left him without taking him out from his pain. I wanted to see a smile on his face and happiness in his life. My heart was crying inside badly. I was not even picking up Neyonika Aunty’s calls because I didn’t know how I should explain to Aunty that I am in love with his son and I don’t want to become a problem of his life because it’s hurt a lot. He loved someone else and I was sure that if by chance we come close to each other in near future, I would always remain his mistake and he would always regret and feel guilty at the end. I never wanted to become his mistake and never wanted to see guilt in his eyes. That was the only reason, I decided to never come in front of him.

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I got ready in a black knee-length dress for a party thrown by my dad’s friend. It was the success party of his business. I was not in a mood for the party, but dad forced me to go as he was in London and he wanted me to go on the behave of him. I parked my car in the parking area and stepped outside. As I stepped into the party hall, my heartbeat accelerated.

“Welcome Shehnaaz, thank you for coming beta.” Dad’s friend came toward me and I gave him small smile. “Come let’s make you meet my son.” He walked somewhere, and I just followed him. I got shocked to find my uncle’s son was non-other than Cabir, Sidharth’s best friend. We both shook our hands, giving each other small when Mr Randeep Dhawan introduced his son Cabir Dhawan with me.

“How is Sidharth?” I asked concernedly from Cabir as Uncle left. I knew my question was stupid but I couldn’t stop myself from asking this question because I was hell worried for him.

“You can see yourself.” I looked him confusingly and then he pointed his hand somewhere. I looked there and widened my eyes in shock to see Sidharth sitting at the bar counter, holding a glass, lost in his own world. Then I understood because of his presence, my heart had been thumping since I came here. My heart cried like always, seeing his condition. I looked at him with my sorrowful eyes.

“This is his condition but only you can help him, Shehnaaz.” As I heard Cabir’s words, I came out of my thoughts and looked at him confusingly.

He continued. “I know you have feelings for him, Shehnaaz. I can see in your eyes.” I closed my eyes dejectedly after listening to his words because this feeling was hurting me a lot. “You are the only girl who is attracting him after Nandita. He is living in pain, I really wanted him to move on.” Now his eyes were sadly looking at Sidharth. I also moved my eyes toward him. As his eyes fell over me, I immediately looked at Cabir.

“Cabir, but he will never move on because he loves Nandita. Even if he moves on with me, he will always regret, and I will always remain his mistake.” My heart broke down into millions of pieces when I said these words. I felt like I myself stabbed the knife directly into my heart.

I rushed from there without looking anywhere because I wanted to cry to lessen my pain. Therefore, I was running toward the washroom, but someone held my hand and closed my mouth from behind. He dragged me into the empty room. The room was dark, I became hell scared.

So what do you think, who took Sana into the darkroom?

Love Mehak

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